No seriously...

I really hate this fucking place.

A haze sits over me as i write this, wading through a never-ending daydream caused by an inability to sleep off any more of the hours I'm trapped in this hell hole. Options: drink a bunch of liquor and pass out for a few hours (J/K totally kid'n man!......ya), or try to do something productive.

Blogging!

I managed to walk to a bar last night like the old days, except I had to cross a busy highway and was more or less scared the whole way there and back.

Oh, and I was alone.

The bar, okay, it was the Red Wave, was actually pretty good. They had tacos for 50 cents and Miller High Life for a dollar. The place was packed with Mexicans and whenever a new norteno song would come on they'd all start yelling, "Ayayayayayayay!!" and stuff like that. Oh and they drank these beers with GALLONS, OCEANS, TRUCKLOADS (low riders? ha ha) of salt in them. I drank about a quarter of one and, as Snoop Doggy Dogg says, "I had back up off it and sit my cup down."

"Don't worry SPM, there really is a Mexican Heaven."


Anyway my one friend who doesn't live with her parents gossipped with me all night about the people we know who do live with their parents. Okay, okay, I really like the Red Wave. But it's the only decent bar I've found in this city. And now I have two whole days to kill and tonight's football game will end at 7 pm and I will want to murder the inventor this stupid f*cking time zone again.

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Headlines!

The best one from today is the pictures released of a Visalia Bank Robber:

1) This is so damn obvious. "Hello! I'm wearing a safari hat and sunglasses indoors, y'ever think I might rob somebody!?" And
2) The dude just looks goofy, like how I'd expect a fat guy in a church play to dress if he was in a bank robbing scene.

We've got 400% unemployment, meanwhile Mr. Not Qualified got confirmed to the state appeals court.

One of the Valley's famous unnamed conservatives commented that he hopes this will bring common sense to the judges. Ah yes, common sense, that thing we fall back on when our argument can't be made with logic or evidence. He should bring plenty of that.

2 teachers were arrested on child porn charges. No, I'm not going to blame this on Fresno. The best thing to do on a story like this is read the comments:

cal_stunn wrote on September, 24 8:50 PM:

it's funny how some people are quick to defend these kind of people that are teachers, police, etc that get charged with these offenses. Wonder why ???? they should'nt even get hired on the first place, they should run some kind of test on them before they even think of hiring them.

So, the reason people defend them is that they shouldn't get hired "on" the first place. In the wide world of non-sequiturs, this is still an amazing stretch. Should go in the non sequitur hall of fame. (Because if football can have a hall of fame, non sequiturs deserve one too!... that one'll hit ya tomorrow)

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeven better, they should run a test on teachers, police, etc. before they even think of hiring them. Since we cannot determine exactly when someone first thinks of hiring someone, this test must be administered to everyone in the world starting right now, presumably as soon as they are born in case granny is tempted to say, "He's so loving, I think he'll grow up to be a teacher".

I once thought that an (untested) friend of mine should be hired as a teacher, for which my sincerest apologies go to cal_stunn. I have let you down friend.

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This blog has not been updated much recently. So what. The point was always to get something up on Google to warn people who are thinking of moving to Fresno or the Valley that it's a bad idea.

So, do not move to Fresno. Fresno, California sucks! I would not advise living in THE CENTRAL SAN JOAQUIN VALLEY OF CALIFORNIA, CA, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, USA. CULTURE, PLACES TO LIVE, HOUSING, COST OF LIVING in CENTRAL CALIFORNIA, EDUCATION, SCHOOL SYSTEM.

Don't move here, ever!

(P.S. If I sound slightly insane, it's because I've lived here for over a year now and am starting to come unglued)