Showing posts with label Not Fresno Related. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Not Fresno Related. Show all posts

Monday, May 11, 2009

Las Vegas

Oh baby!!

Obviously this isn't quite Fresno related, but hey, that means it's better.

So we went to the Fresno Grizzlies game Thursday night. I had free tickets to Thirsty Thursdays, Hell yea!! Turns out the road team was none other than the Las Vegas blah blah blahs. We got a couple beers in us and suddenly my buddies were yelling; "Let's get on the f-in team bus and go to Vegas!"

And we did!!!!...

Okay, not really. But we went home and drove to Vegas on a whim, arriving around 4 a.m. GREAT way to start a weekend.

First off, I've been to Vegas before, but I've never been impressed with it. I'm not a gambler and that doesn't help, but the scene is what really sort of perplexed me. Hardly anyone we saw was young, or even well dressed. At least 75% of the clientele at our hotel was older overweight blue-collar workers. Forget Las Vegas, call it Middle Ageas.

More importantly, I live for spontaneity (obviously) and excitement that's at least a little off the beaten path. I mean, if it ain't off the path at all, how can it really be exciting right? And certainly Vegas is seen as an exciting place. But dude, it was such an obviously controlled environment. You walk around in maze-like buildings. You drink out in the open. You play various games which are obviously designed so the house wins. And it's all there to take your money. Every bit of it. It just seems boring.

Anyway, the guys I went with were the most outgoing dudes I've ever met. They dominated the conversation everywhere they went, and they won most of their bets out of sheer confidence. Guys like that don't usually hang out with writers and vice-versa, so even as a non-gambler it was fascinating to just watch how they interacted with people.

One of them got down 500 dollars in a roulette game about 30 minutes after we arrived. He didn't even break a sweat. I once lost 5 dollars betting on a football game and got so mad that I cussed out the winner for his brief entry into the fool's paradise, and later apologized. So how this guy could do that I'll never understand.

By the end of the weekend both claimed they had actually made money, and lots of it. I think one said he made 500 overall and the other came out up 300. I don't guess they were lying, though I didn't keep track or anything.

Everything else I could say about the trip is probably not safe for the internet, but yea Vegas ain't for me, at least not until I hit my mid-life crisis.

Oh, oh yea. And whenever we told people at the tables we were from Fresno their eyes got wide and they said something about how lame it was. And I agreed wholeheartedly.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Lame-azz wannabees......

First off, I'd like to congratulate Fresno for becoming California's 5th largest city. Yay.

Elsewhere, the city dropped Mayor Swearengin's plan to use GPS devices to track sex offenders even after they have been released. It's a great idea, but, um, oh ish, it's not legal. I tell you what though, if she had ran on making weed cheaper in Fresno I'd have voted for her anyway.

Speaking of sex offenders, a famous one is about to move back here!! Sherman Polk is apparently famous around these parts and has been in jail since 1985. But he still knows where the action is baby; Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeef Naw.

And on a personal note, I had a very "special" trip planned for this weekend to San Francisco. Me and two friends had planned on it since January and by Tuesday night had worked out most of the details. On Thursday, they both suddenly had different plans. One wanted to "go to Vegas!" on a whim (Las Vegas is overrated BS from lame movies BTW) and the other, more bizarrely, wanted to go to San Luis Obispo.

The Vegas guy went, the SLO guy didn't. And I'm still going to San Fran dammit!... albeit with people I barely know. I won't blame my friends' erratic behavior on Fresno because they are not from here and I'd thought before yesterday that they were above the lameness of the city. Rather, they have engaged in some sort of pathetic alpha male stunt. San Francisco wouldn't work because it was my idea and they couldn't be so shamed.

Pardon my French, but Fresno 'em.