Let's get personal

So, aside from stories I find in the paper, I'd like to recount a few personal encounters.

These also may have less to do with Fresno than with California or the whole West Coast, but it's still strange to me:

The other day they make a big announcement at work, "We're buying pizza for everybody!" Then they ask what everybody wants. Somebody says, "I don't care." The next person says, "Pepperoni, I guess." The third guy says, "Vegetarian." I try to hide a laugh. The person after that also says, "Vegetarian". 'Seriously!?' I think, 'What the Hell is wrong with these people? What's gonna become of the world if you eat a pizza with meat on it?'

It comes to me, I try to make a joke, "Meat". In response, "Oh, you mean like the kind with tons of meat on it, like 5 different kinds?" 'Jesus Christ!' I think, 'They must think I'm some kind of barbarian now.' "No, I was just joking. I just meant I'd like a pizza that isn't vegetarian." (Or something like that, it was awkward)

Later in the day somebody says their chair is uncomfortable, and our boss tells us he is going to have people show up in two weeks to show us the proper way to sit in our chairs and use a computer so we don't suffer from "repetitive stress". That's right, repetitive stress -- while sitting down.

I said, "Ha ha, yea man that's a good one." Wrong!

"No seriously, I had to quit a job once because I suffered from repetitive stress."

The next day we've got to take a golf cart somewhere. Who will drive? "Well" says another higher-up, "Who has had the defensive driving class?"

"For a golf cart?"

"Oh yea! You can't drive it without taking the class."

"Look, I've played plenty of golf in my time, and-"

"Well that's why you need the class!"

I thought about explaining that golf courses let you drive a cart without taking a class (you did DRIVE A CAR THERE after all), but decided the effort would be futile.