Cruel Irony has a name.... You can probably guess

While I doubt my boy Heroinhead tipped anybody off, the Gods of Fresno found a way to repay me. I once complained that someone had stolen the front tire from my bike.

"Why steal the front wheel? What's that gonna accomplish?"

Well, the other day they answered by stealing my boy Abazu's entire bike-- except the front wheel.

We now have one bike between us. "Aaaaaaaaww, how cute"... WRONG! Mine was a road bike, his a mountain. Might as well try pluggin your legos into your K-Nex.

I found out today that the guy who invented this creepy-ass technology is from F-No. Say it ain't so! They can hunt anyone down who tries to escape!

Lastly, don't you just feel bad for this guy. If only he had a few little more minutes to flush the rest of the meth. Oh, and the scales, the bullet-proof vest, and the "packaging", he'd have gotten off scott-free! Just don't call the sewage tank guy.