You've just won 10 million dollars!!!... If I can come up with it.

"Um, yea... about that..." (Kudos to the bee for snapping such an appropriate pic)

The first real Fresno-esque news I've seen in a bit, and yet another textbook example of this city creating the type of nightmare most people don't know is possible.

So this dude, an ex-FSU football player, goes out and says he's donating 10 million bucks to the athletics department. Hey that's awesome, we ran a huge debt last year and we're facing huge budget cuts, this guy is a life saver!

Unfortunately I missed the big * next to the word pledge. He hasn't actually given anybody a dime, and apparently he may never. Seriously, who does that!? Where else does shit like this happen!? They didn't check his bank account?? Could I waltz over to some office and say I'm donating 10 mil and get not one, but TWO stories about me in the paper!? (You know, the second one comes out when they realize I'm broke)

On to the article:


Tipsters have provided The Bee and other news organizations with many allegations about Bigelow and his company. But none have been willing to go on the record with first-hand information and none of the claims could be verified.


Whatever Kudos actually are, I'm taking them back from the Bee.

The only blemish on Bigelow's legal record is a 2008 arrest for drunken driving and a later probation violation in which authorities said he drove with a suspended license.

Bigelow paid $1,720 in fines in the first case -- but only after it was sent to collection, Fresno County court records show.

So they squeezed 17 hundred bucks out of him after sending it to collections. He's gonna be like those people you see on the TV commercials, debt collectors calling day night and day: "I'm calling on behalf of Fresno State, you still owe us 10 million dollars. We're sending it to collections."

The rest of the article is just weird, here's the web gem:

"I've talked to several athletic directors around the country on very large donations and it's never been like this in any other community," Bigelow said.

Proof positive! Jordan fourth quarter in '92! Swoosh! Fresnomore

Excitement in the air...

Now that I've broken the seal, might as well keep laying it on VSP. Takada has a new column up (which I haven't read yet) that I will now make fun of.

Let's see........ oh here's one!

My countdown to football season has begun. And there are plenty of questions that I can’t wait to see answered, unless any of you can answer them for me.

So if I can answer the questions then you CAN wait to see them answered. I love statements like this.

4-Will Fresno City College get over the hump and win a bowl game for the first time since 2003?

They have bowls at the FBS (Fooball Bowl Subdivision) level and playoffs at the FCS (Football Championship Subdivision), D-II, and D-III levels. I guess they make it symmetrical by returning to bowls at the WGAF (Who gives a fuck) level.

11-Is Pat Hill going to use Ebahn Feathers in the pistol formation?

Is George Takada an idiot?

13-Will Fresno State win the WAC for the first time since 1997?

Here is where Takada makes the real web gem. We last won the WAC in 1999, and Colorado State won it in 1997. It took me less than 30 seconds to look that up... sigh

16-Is Tom Brandstater an NFL caliber quarterback?

I know you want to wait if I know the answer, but 'No.

Okay, enough of this. I'm bordering on violating an important rule.

Fresnomore's #1 fan!

Here he is, the lone worshipper of all things Fresnomore (and all things um, heroin) Heroinhead. I'd like to thank the academy, this is very fitting for a blog of this nature.


I need to ween myself of caffeine, as I have crashed before the time even came to update this thing.

Thanks again to heroinhead for becoming fresnomore's first follower. You are... quite interesting.

Spring football practice began yesterday. Checking out these pictures, if you go about 2/3rds of the way you down you get a picture of Derek Carr and Ryan Colburn with the caption "Ryan Colburn back to back with Carr."

It's like a wet-dream for overzealous, obsessive Fresno State fans (which is good, because I doubt they're getting much action), kind of reminds me of a scene from Requiem for a Dream.

"Groooooooooooooooooooooooooss!"

Bran...stateAAh!

All riiiiiiiight! Checking out the ol' (not that it'll ever get old) valleysportspulse.com, we see a story about how our boy Tommy Brandstater did well at the NFL combine. Check out the advice his agent gave him about his torn lat muscle:

“When we first warmed up, you weren’t supposed to have any phones, any contact with anybody,” Brandstater said. But I snuck my phone out there and texted my trainer. I said I can’t do this anymore. There’s no way I’ll be able to throw. I’ll just make myself look bad. He never responded, so I just kind of said screw it. I’ll just go out there and see what I can do.”

Boy, his trainer sure was worried about his draft status! "Ah, it's Stater again... I'm too busy with, um, this bottle of shampoo right now."

So he did well at the combine, but at day's end his muscle was 70-percent torn. Looks like our boy is in for a great NFL career.

(Brandstater wonders where it went wrong. "I really thought he liked me this time!")


Baseball:
Looks like our National Championship baseball team is off to a hot start, they beat Buffalo (Buffalo?) 20-0 Saturday night for their fourth win over that team in just over a week. It looked like a good Nelson-from-the-Simpsons style bullying joke would work well here, but Fresno provides better comedy. In the 7th inning, the Moog-synthesizer-inspired PA system went out. We hold these truths to be self-evident... that Fresno is jacked.

(PA guy with ghetto bullhorn: "Your attention plese, FSU now has a new mascot. Time Out will be replaced by "Time Off." The position has been filled by whoever the Hell runs the facilities crew.")

What, oh what will Monday bring to F-No. more